Encountering the apparatus of immigration
If, like us, you live you life in the country of your citizenship, and
only ever go away to other countries on holidays, or the occasional
conference jolly, then immigration is rarely encountered. Indeed, if
you're lucky enough to live in Britain, then our imperial history has
ensured that there are very few countries in the world which even
require tourist visas (is someone anal enough to count them and see if
the visa-requiring countries are in the majority and so correct me?).
But when one starts gearing up to relocate for an extended period of
time, then the pandora's box of bureaucratic worries is opened, and
your lives are given over to feeding the ever-increasing appetite for
paperwork of the visa service. One goes through the web-site, and at
first it seems that one just has to fill out a form and present your
passport. But then you find a checklist. Hurrah! you think. Someone
has done the hard work of assembling a list of the bits of paper that
need to be sent. But then you discover there are inconsistencies
between the form and the checklist. Do we need to provide a letter
from my own university or not? And then you realise that on another
corner of the website there is another list of requirements that is a
superset of everything that you've already gathered from the form and
the checklist.
The list builds - forms, letters from every university involved, birth
certificates, marriage certificates, bank records, and so on - until
you wonder why you just don't send them every piece of paper that has
been accumulated over one's lifetime. At last, the paper mountain has
been brought to my arm, Ed. You purchase the largest jiffy bag
possible, and find that it isn't quite big enough - at least it wasn't
until the "do not fold, spindle or mutilate" labelled card has been
rolled and screwed to the shape that fits the spare corner of the
jiffy.
But then you realise in your careful attention to detail that nowhere
on the list of things to send has it specified passports. Surely
you're not meant to send off everything without proving that you have
a right to cross country borders. So you find out how to query the
visa folk, send off the email and wait in hope, carefully picking your
way around the mountain range of paperwork in the kitchen in the
meantime (it may have started off as a single Everest, but small
children have mighty erosion properties). Eventually they reply, and
yes, they do want our passports. So we send off our lives, and hope
that the UK immigration service doesn't choose to check on our lives -
since we now have nothing to prove that we live in the UK.
One week later we must have convinced the good folk of the visa
service that we really don't intend to stay in Godzone country
permanently and steal their very limited amount of air-space and
land. Everything came back, and now we have our very own 419 visas,
and can join the
419 club - or do we need to tell people about the
death of our close friend, the former dictator of Bwaniland who has
left $17 million ($17,000,000) IN AN UNCLAIMED BANK ACCOUNT...
Relevant links:
Australia High Commission 419 Visas Checklist 147 form